Time line, more or less

About this time last year: I "found" Chicky's book It's Perfectly Normal on her bookcase, and tried to talk with her about it. She responded by staring at her bookcase. "Look at all these books!" she said quickly. "I have so many books! I bet I haven't even read them all. That is a LOT of books." She didn't make eye contact.

A week or so later: I pointed to a diagram in one of her books, and laughed. She laughed too. We looked through some pictures together, and found them funny, but didn't talk about either sex or puberty very much. 

A couple of weeks after that: I found the copy of the book in the bathroom, when she called me in to keep her company while she took a bubble bath. She pretended that she had no idea how that book got there. I pretended that made sense. We read some of the book, and talked about it briefly.

A couple of months later (during which time we'd continued discussing puberty and sex occasionally): We introduce the conversation topic Itchy Issues. Awkward conversations are scheduled for once or twice a week. We both enjoy these, even though they are theoretically "itchy" (ie uncomfortable). I bought her a little pouch, and put some pads in it Just In Case. She keeps this in her backpack.


As time wore on, the puberty vocabulary became our vocabulary. Sex is getting to be a more comfortable topic, but still not there yet. That's ok. When she was telling me about her Sex Ed class at school, she mentioned that the teacher had to pause the video when one of the boys in the film was talking about his penis. Chicky used the word "penis" in a sentence, not hesitating over it or whispering. Good for her. No need to get all awkward talking about a body part, but so many people do. She told me many details about the sex ed classes, and I loved hearing about it. It's so interesting! And it's very fun to get her perspective.

 Last week: Chicky asked me if we could go bra shopping. We did, on Monday. Story will follow, of course.

She says she doesn't like books- HAH!

A while ago, Chicky told me that she didn't like using books. That, ok, we could talk about this puberty/sex thing if we really must, but that we should just discuss, not read from books. Well, fine.

And so we do. She's relaxed a lot, and so have I, and we both joke about puberty all the time. The sex thing is still more awkward, but I think we'll get to this point with it too. So that's promising.

Here's a funny development, though-- as much as the girl told me that she doesn't want to read books about this stuff, she tore through Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret in a day. A day, people, and she doesn't usually like to read. She just found it hilarious. And I loved it too-- not just that she'd found a book she loves (which I'm thrilled by, of course), but also that it's given her a whole new way to talk about things. We laugh about the "we must increase our bust" routines, and how they never actually work. We discuss the huge variation in ages girls get their periods, pads vs tampons, and so on. It became so much easier for her to talk about all of this, once she'd read the book.

The other book we've been reading together in fits and spurts is My Little Red Book. It's basically a memoir of girls' stories of getting their periods-- either for the first time, or some memorable occasion. We've been enjoying the different experiences the girls have had, occasionally talking about mine (though I've had a pretty boring menstrual history), and talking about what will happen for her in the future (we won't slap her across the face, we will have some sort of celebration).

See, kid? Books aren't so bad.